Poetry: Unsure

Unsure

By Dara Mae Velasco

I am drowning in the miseries of my life

Contemplating on whether I should end it with a knife

I want to cry

Or bleed myself dry

What is worse, dying young?

Or living with everything else going wrong ?

I am troubled and I need peace

I just could not find it in this earthly place

No voice could calm the child inside of me

No touch can make pain go away

It’s like the scar that never heals

In my spine, it sends down chills

Feelings that I could not simply deny

Am I leaving a lie?

I have come to the point where I can’t see

The future ahead of me

Once upon a time

I was at my prime

When ask what I want to be

I was sure to answer with such a glee

If you would ask me now

I would simply give a sigh and bow

For I am unsure

And there seems to be no cure 

About to Give Up? Don't..

There are days that just pushed you to your limits. There are times when you feel like you had enough of all the struggles that you have to faced.  There are moments that you feel like this pain is just unbearable and you want it to end then and there. There are mornings when the process of getting out of bed drains you of all energy. In the silence of the night you cry for reasons so concrete its hard to simply break from that streak of depression.

You stand there right on the ledge contemplating on how exactly, are you going to end your life fast and as painless as possible. Question what is the meaning of my life? Why am I here? Is there a tomorrow I can look forward to? Or you might think that you will end it because it gets to confusing, and  your losing your grip of reality. You've fake a smile for so long that you've come to think that may be you are happy. Then behind close doors, a flood of tears would come because the struggle just keep on surfacing. In the silence of an empty room you tell yourself: I give up; I had enough; it's time to end this. 

If you have ever had those feelings describe above for such a long time then you might be depressed and suicidal. I don't judged you for feeling so because I too have fallen to this trap once but I am glad I come out fighting. I am continually fighting and I am able to this because I have friends, I have family and God. I guess what I want you to know though, is that you are not alone and it's okay to talk about it with someone.  Get the negativity out and pour in some positive thoughts into your heart and soul.

Newsflash, no death is ever rid of pain. No matter how beautifully we paint the word death, it is still and will always back-dropped with an eerie  feeling.  Come out victorious from these dark thoughts and be an inspiration to someone. Express yourself and spread the love. 

I wrote a poem entitled Suicidal at a time when I felt most vulnerable to this kind of tendency. I am glad I wrote because it eased the burden and it paved the way to a thorough understanding. Suicide is not an answer it is a cry for help. 

I am not an expert in this matter but I know how it feels. I know how long those gloomy hopeless days would seem. I know what its like to feel so uncertain about the future that you have to summon a ton of energy just to get through the day. If you have the time take a moment to listen to the song entitled Something More by Nick Vujicic.

I am willing to listen to you, so please feel free to contact me at splashof3is@gmail.com or dm me on twitter my username is splashof3is.

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Poetry: Suicidal

Suicidal

by Dara Velasco 

Caught the moment of total uncertainty 

I write a note

Slit my throat

Cut my wrist

Jump off the boat and just drift

To no-where-land

Where all hope is gone

Chug a couple of pills

Drive recklessly down the dangerous hills

Hung myself on the rope

Throw myself on that rugged slope

Jump off the building

Or in front of the bus that is fast approaching

I could think of million ways to kill myself

I stand as a person, who lost all her pelf

In search of a strength that has gone adrift

Every now and then I feel a sudden shift

Emotions so heavy

It leaves me queasy

Devastated and gasping for air

I meet the world with my blank stare

My love, my hope, my dreams they have escape me

The future I planned, I can no longer see

Burden by the weight of these emotions

And the thoughts that produce these commotions

A lot of choices of how to end my life

On how to end this horrible earthly strife

The one thing that scares me more

The thing makes me feel such intense gore

It is the notion that I might succeed

The thought that I might be freed

That is pretty convincing

The reality however, is more heart-wrenching

I leave my physical body

But I know for certain, I gain no sort of victory

Instead I’ll be joining Satan in his dominion

And that is such an unsightly reunion

For the rest of eternity I’ll be left to join the Evil’s dance

Because I was a afraid to give life a chance

I see my family suffering too

It’s going to be hard for them let go

I drop the rope

Step away from the slope

Step away from ledge

Threw that knife with such sharp edge

I shut my eyes for awhile

Drive these thoughts that are very vile

In the moment of solitude

I find time for gratitude

Thanking God for saving me

And freeing me

From the bout of emotional uncertainty

Happy days,sunny days, glorious days are ahead of me

--xoxoxoxox--

I am willing to listen to you, so please feel free to contact me at splashof3is@gmail.com or dm me on twitter my username is splashof3is

 Photo source: 

                http://browse.deviantart.com/art/Suicidal-Thoughts-82319002